Lesson 15

Last Sunday night, after I had preached on sexual purity and proper regard for one's own body, someone said to me, "Thank God for the Corinthian church!" The statement surprised me a little and took me back. Most of the time, we are all quick to criticize the church at Corinth for their carnality and spiritual immaturity. No one I know would want to pastor or belong to the church at Corinth. But, suddenly, someone was thanking God for this church in my hearing. He went on to explain, "Without this church at Corinth, we wouldn't know the answers to all these problems in our times and in our churches. We know what to do today because Paul wrote to tell the church at Corinth what to do. Thank God for the Corinthian church."

Beginning in I Corinthians 7, Paul's epistle becomes much like the game show Jeopardy, that is, we know what the answer is but we must figure out the question. The game board gives the answer and the contestants must respond in the form of a question.

We learn from I Corinthians 7:1 that Paul had a received correspondence from this church which apparently had a list of questions about Christian living. And so having dealt with the quarrels within the church in chapters 1-6, Paul now takes up answering the questions from the church in chapters 7-16. Notice the various subjects which Paul had been asked about.

Marriage and family - 7:1, 25.

Eating meat offered to idols - 8:1,4.

The role of men and women - 11:3.

The observance of the Lord's table - 11:23.

Spiritual gifts, 12:1.

The resurrection, 15:1.

The collection, 16:1.

Apollos, 16:12.

Each time Paul begins a new subject he makes the transition with words and phrases like "now concerning" or "as touching" or "I would not have you ignorant" or "I declare unto you." And so, the rest of I Corinthians is answers to their questions. The problem is that we know the answers which the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write, but we don't know precisely just what the questions were. We have to figure out the question and that, as any Jeopardy contestant can tell you, is not always easy.

The first questions Paul tackles are in I Corinthians 7:1-9, our text for this message. The entire seventh chapter concerns marriage and family questions. These are very important issues in our day, just as they were in the days of Paul.

In fact, I just want to affirm to you that our church is committed to helping your family. It is one of our stated goals that we seek to strengthen the family. We do with the things like preparing for marriage classes and marriage counseling. In Sunday School, last fall, we had a marriage class. Our ministry to children and young people is designed to give loving ministry to every person in the family - from the babies in the nursery, to wee worship, children's church, Ranger's For Christ, JYG's, Youth Bible Studies and Activities, Summer Camp - all are with the goal of "turning the hearts of children toward their fathers and the hearts of fathers toward their children." The leaders of this church - pastor, staff, deacons, teachers, ministry leaders - should be and are expected to model Christian marriages and families. I regularly pray for the families of this church. There is a mutually dependent relationship between this church and your family. We rely upon you for our financial and human resources with which to minister.

You need us for teaching, encouraging, helping and strengthening you in your marriage and with your family. And we all know that in our day and time, the family needs all the help in can get.

So, as we move through the text, not only this morning but over the next few services, this is intended to help you know answers to the family questions.

A little more background is necessary to help us understand the text. The world in which the Corinthian church existed was confused, to say the least, about marriage and the family. The Jews held to a strong family unit. In fact, some Jewish teaching said that marriage and children were required by God, in obedience to God's command at creation to "be fruitful and multiply."

However, things were not like that in the pagan world of the Greeks and Romans. Common law marriage was common - couples living together in a non-committed and perhaps temporary arrangement. Roman law said that if you lived together for one year, you were to be considered husband and wife. Another form of marriage was marriage by sale. Fathers could sell their daughters to the highest bidder. Divorce was rampant. One historical document from the period describes a woman who getting married for the twenty-seventh time and for the man whom she was marrying it was going to be his twenty-sixth marriage. Finally, the issue of slavery factored into the family issues. Although slaves did not have official marriage ceremonies like those of freemen and nobles, they were permitted to marry within the household. However, if the slave owner didn't like the marriage relationship, he could separate them. And he could always sell off one or the other. This made for confusing family relationships. With up to 60% of the population being slaves this affected a lot of people. And many of the first century Christians were slaves. These new Christians had questions. Some of them had Jewish backgrounds and some of them pagan Gentile backgrounds - each with differing views of marriage and the family. Some of them were slaves others were free. Some of them had previous marriages. There were just a lot of questions about family issues. Should they marry at all? Was it permissible for Christians to remain unmarried? The Jewish believers thought not. What if their partner was a unbeliever? Should they stay with him or leave him? Should they divorce their present partner and go back to the first spouse? They needed help and so they had written Paul and asked for answers to their questions.

Think about it. When God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helpmeet for him"; when God said, "Be fruitful and multiply" was He making marriage mandatory for His people? Is marriage mandatory? Is remaining single an option for a Christian? Many of the Jews thought marriage necessary. They pressured people to marry because they thought it was a sin to remain unmarried.

Perhaps in more subtle ways, not because we think it to be a sin, but we pressure people into marriage. In some ways, in our Christian culture, there is little place of service for the single. You are somehow regarded as a second class Christian if you choose to remain unmarried. Some argue that you are unqualified to preach or pastor a church if you aren't married. Everyone is trying to fix you up with their unmarried sister-in-law, pressuring you to marriage. Must you marry?

Look at the answer. Verse 1 - "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." The word "good" means "excellent, noble, acceptable". "To touch a woman" is a common Jewish expression for physical intimacy. For example, when God sovreignly protected Abimelech from committing adultery with Sarah, He "suffered Abimelech not to touch her" (Genesis 20:6). Boaz protected Ruth's purity by "charg[ing] the young men that they shall not touch" her (Ruth 2:9). It is said plainly in Proverbs 6:29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour's wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.

So when Paul writes the words of verse 1, he is not referring to shaking hands or having any physical contact with someone of the opposite gender (although you should be very careful about that). He is referring to remaining single and celibate. Paul says that it is good, that there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, there are some advantages, spiritually speaking, in staying single, vss 7a, 8. What are some of the reasons for staying single as a Christian? Notice beginning in verse 25...

Because of "this present distress" (26). This probably refers to the persecution that Christians faced. Paul is saying that in times of severe persecution of Christians singleness would be advantageous. Can you see how that, if Christians were being imprisoned, beaten, tortured and martyred, it would be better to be single.

Because of "trouble in the flesh" (28). Let’s face it! Even Christians struggle with the flesh. Marriage means that you are going struggle in the flesh in ways which you will not have to if you are single. (Conflict, demands, hardships, sacrifices, adjustments). Marriage may solve some problems but it also creates some new ones.

Because of the "passing of this world" (29-31). Marriage is good but it is not an eternal relationship. There is no marriage in heaven. Marriage is temporal, so is weeping, rejoicing, possessions and pleasure. Because of the preoccupation of the married (32-35). "Pleasing your partner" (33-34); "Careful" (32) = full of cares; worries; "distraction" (35).

There are some advantages and some things about singleness and celibacy that make it preferable. However, Paul is also clear to point out that there are some dangers facing those who remain single.

Temptation - Being single means that you do not have a holy outlet for your desire for sex. You face a greater temptation to fornicate, see I Cor. 7:1-2. The swinging single who is interested in the opposite sex but who stays single to avoid the commitment of marriage is playing with fire. Don’t stay single just so that you can go out with a different guy/girl every night of the week. You risk falling into immorality if you do.

Pre-occupation - I Cor. 7:9. You are better off married than to burn, that is, to be constantly pre-occupied with being with someone or with being married. With some single people, it is all they think about, its all they talk about, they are consumed with wanting someone. One of the reasons why I like being married is that I don’t have to think about it all the time.

Paul indicates that singleness is a gift from God, v. 7, just as is marriage. If you can stay single and not be tempted to commit sex sin and if you can stay single and not be pre-occupied with wanting someone, then you probably have the gift of singleness. If you can’t then you probably don’t.

This brings up another question. If singleness and celibacy are so good, why marry? The disciples once wondered out loud if maybe you wouldn't be better off to stay single. Look at Matthew 19:10-12. Jesus' response to them was "Not everyone is able to be single. Some cannot receive the idea of being single. Some are able to live their whole life single because of physical reasons." (Some are born with limitations which cause them to stay single. Some have things happen to them, physically, which make being single the only reasonable option. Of course, in antiquity, some men were castrated or even choose to be castrated to serve as harem guards. Others were castrated as a pagan religious act. Mutilation of the body is a pagan act and should never be done but there are, even today, some who have physical, medical or mental reasons either from birth or from injury for staying single.) Jesus goes on to say that some are able to stay single for spiritual reasons. They are so single-minded about their work for Jesus Christ and the kingdom of God that they are not interested in marriage. John the Baptist would be an example of such a person. As would eighty-four year old Anna whom we read about in Luke 2:36-37. So would Paul the Apostle. Paul referred to his singleness as a gift, see I Corinthians 7:1,7-8. Not every one has this gift but if you are able to be single for spiritual reasons you should. To be single and satisfied with it, to be able to not burn with desire for marriage, and to not be tempted to commit fornication, is a gift from God. Marriage is not mandatory. Marriage is not for everyone. Some have the gift of singleness - perhaps they are suddenly single because of death of their partner, perhaps they never had a desire for marriage and are satisfied without sex, without companionship and without children.

But that does not mean somehow that celibacy is superior to marriage. Everyone has the right to marry, even those in the ministry, see I Corinthians 9:5. In fact, according to I Timothy 1:3a, to forbid marriage is a doctrine of the demons! Furthermore, Paul makes it clear that celibacy within marriage is wrong. There are good reasons to marry. The Scriptures give at least four.

Procreation - Gen. 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply." Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."

Pleasure - Proverbs 5:18-19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. Marriage is for more than children. It is also intended for pleasure. It is honorable in all.

Provision - This is the God ordained way for having a helper and partner in life. There is a division of labor in marriage. He is the breadwinner, she the caregiver. He is to labor and to lead. She is to nurture and to follow. That is not to say that the duties and roles never overlap. Indeed they do. We help each other through life. Children need both parents fulfilling their respective roles.

Purity - According to the text, marriage is designed by God to keep us from fornication, v. 2. Paul is not downgrading the institution of marriage. Marriage cannot be reduced simply to being God's escape valve for the sex drive. He is not suggesting that Christians go out and find another Christian to marry only to keep from getting into moral sin. He is saying it is normal to get married because it is normal to have physical desire.

Paul goes on to say that it is wrong to withhold sex within marriage, vs. 3-5. The husband has a conjugal duty toward his wife and the wife toward her husband, v. 3. In fact, our bodies are not ours to control. They are the shared possession of both partners, v. 4. To withhold is to defraud, to cheat your partner out of something which is rightfully theirs. Abstinence from marital intimacy should be by mutual consent, for a limited time frame and for spiritual purposes. Anything else will make some vulnerable to the temptations of Satan. The point to all of this is that clearly there is nothing spiritually superior about celibacy.

Both singleness and marriage are good. Both have advantages and dangers. Either can be spiritually fulfilling or an opportunity to sin. Both are ours by the unique gifting of God. Marriage is not mandatory and celibacy is not superior. This may seem obvious but apparently it was not in ancient Corinth and still is not. In some subtle almost subconscious way, we may get the idea that marriage is mandatory for correct Christian behavior or that celibacy is somehow spiritually superior. It is left up to each of us to determine which gift God has given. There are more answers to marriage and family questions in this chapter. Stay tuned.

Let's pray for the marriages and the families of our church and also for our precious singles. If the Holy Spirit has prompted your heart today to a decision which you need to make for Christ, don't hesitate during the invitation.